Along Came Polly (2004)

reviewed by
John Ulmer


ALONG CAME POLLY
Rating: 2/5 stars

REVIEW BY JOHN ULMER (Copyright, 2004)

Ben Stiller had better be careful. He's wearing his comedy shtick into

the ground. It worked in "There's Something About Mary," "Meet the

Parents," and "Keeping the Faith." Now it's getting a bit old. His

comedy usually relies on monkey gestures and crazy facial features,

such as when he baby-talks to Puffy the dog in "Mary" or when he

insults a picture of Robert De Niro during the closing credits of

"Parents." Stiller is very distinct in his comedy but now he's passed

over the line into stereotyping himself. Whereas his comedy counter

piece, Owen Wilson ("Zoolander," "Starsky and Hutch"), came to public

attention with terrific performances and has grown (career-wise) ever

since, Stiller is typecasting himself. They're both brilliant sorts of

comedians in my book, perhaps the modern day equivalent of the

bickering Lemmon and Matthau. But Stiller's whole approach to comedy

is, unfortunately, becoming repetitive. He's a funny man (and I

thought he directed "The Cable Guy" very well much to the disagreement

of most cinemagoers and critics) but I'd love to see him tackle a

truly daring role sometime in the near future.

In "Along Came Polly" he plays another bumbling, nervous, neurotic

fool who falls in love with an adventurous woman and then realizes

that although they are both very different, they really belong to each

other. The crazy girl is Polly Prince ("spelled with a 'p'"), played

by Jennifer Aniston with great casualness and occasionally annoying

whining rants. It's unfortunate that Polly isn't given more depth

since she comes across as -- no offense to Aniston or anyone

associated with the character -- a total bewitch. (Sorry, can't write

the actual word -- this review has to be family friendly.) Polly is a

playful, outlandish person, who doesn't really care about anything and

has a deep-rooted fear of intimacy and commitment, whereas on the

other hand Rubin (Stiller), her new "friend" she once knew in middle

school and has now become reacquainted with, is a total nut job.

Rubin's greatest fear is to contract a deadly virus from a hand bowl

full of nuts. "On average one out of six people wash their hands after

going to the bathroom," Rubin tells Polly in a bar after she reaches

for a complimentary bowl of nuts. "Maybe seventeen people a night eat

out of that thing. That's one hundred and nineteen people a week."

Polly sees things completely different.

Rubin has no sense of adventure at all. He is Polly's complete

opposite. In the beginning, Rubin gets married to his sweetheart, Lisa

(Debra Messing). As they honeymoon on a tropical island, Rubin walks

in on Lisa having sex with a scuba diver instructor, Claude (Hank

Azaria). The entire situation occurred in the first place because of

the fact that Rubin was too scared to go scuba diving and risk

"accidents."

Rubin sells life insurance, which explains his constant worries. To

him, everything is judged by percentages, such as the miniscule chance

that he could be hit by a car on his way home from work. Because he is

constantly surrounded by these digital numbers representing the thin

line between life and death, Rubin's anxiety has grown, mutating into

a very nervous creature. Sometimes during the movie Stiller is so

erratic that it is painful to watch him. Oh, and did I mention that

Rubin has irritable bowel syndrome, meaning that any exotic foods can

result in messy outcomes? (The scene explaining this is a very blatant

rip-off of the infamous bathroom scene from "Dumb and Dumber," and

it's not even half as funny. Even the farting noises are irritating.)

The film's true humor comes from the rather unexpected performance by

Alec Baldwin as Rubin's boss. Almost unrecognizable buried under a

stunning amount of body weight, not to mention a very thick New York

accent, Baldwin's few scenes provide at the very least a few smiles.

And the other gem performance is by Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Rubin's

best friend, Sandy; an ex-child-star who made it big in a movie called

"Crocodile Tears," in which he played a popular high school character

whose trademark became the playing of bagpipes (which is never really

explained). In the film's best moment, and the one in which it finally

manages to actually satirize something, the poster in Sandy's wall is

an exact duplicate of "The Breakfast Club's" famous poster logo -- and

listen carefully to the background music throughout this scene. Does

it sound familiar?

That was one of the only parts I laughed at, unfortunately. I really

did expect a fair amount of satisfaction from "Polly." Other than a

surprisingly sexual scene with Aniston in tight underwear there is

nothing unexpected about this rather mediocre comedy. It's written by

the comedy duo who penned "Meet the Parents," a far superior comedy,

which may explain my high expectations from the start, and rather

dissatisfied opinion of the finished product. I wish more time had

been spent comparing the two characters, and adding depth to their

profiles, instead of making a headlong rush towards the abrupt ending.

The movie tries to preach to us that we all should live our lives like

Polly: careless and without worry, because as one character says in

the stereotypical Big Inspirational Speech of the film, we only live

our miserable lives once, and why make it completely miserable instead

of looking for the good in things? This is a fine moral but the movie

never decides whether its audience should mimic their lives after

Rubin or Polly. At the end of the movie we are led to believe that

marriage is wrong, and then we learn that maybe marriage is a good

thing, after all. We also learn that Polly has some major problems yet

we're supposed to be inspired by her life. "Along Came Polly" isn't

really all that funny, with lots of bodily humor and silly juvenile

jokes, not to mention a rather disappointingly contrived performance

by Phillip Seymour Hoffman who tries (to no avail) to make his

character realistic. But worse than that, the film leaves us wondering

what its true message is, hidden underneath the thick layer of crude

fart and poo jokes and bad innuendo. I wish it would make up its mind.

Maybe then it would have been a bit easier to enjoy. Probably not.

- John Ulmer
http://www.wiredonmovies.com

e-mail: webmaster@wiredonmovies.com

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