BULLETPROOF
2/5 stars
One-line summary: This dire, recycled "comedy" vehicle is just a poor
man's version of all those better '80s cop-buddy/road picture movies
such as "Lethal Weapon," "Midnight Run" and most of all "Planes,
Trains and Automobiles." It's not worth your time.
REVIEW BY JOHN ULMER (Copyright, 2004)
"Bulletproof" is one of the most homoerotic films ever made. Either
intentionally or unintentionally, it comes across as an extremely
sophomoric, clichéd exercise in tired comedy routines that were tried
and tested since the '80s. It is yet another comedy of mixed ethnic
races -- just like "Running Scared," "Lethal Weapon," "48 Hrs.,"
"Money Talks," etc. It's so poor that apart from an entertaining setup
the movie becomes almost painful to watch.
The movie stars Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler as an undercover cop and
an unsuspecting criminal respectively. Wayans, whose first film was
the glorious "Roxanne," still knows his comedy -- it's just rather
unfortunate that he has lowered his standards so far as to appear in
low-grade trash such as this.
Sandler, who is occasionally funny in the right role ("Happy Gilmore,"
also released in 1996, is great), gives one of his worst performances
here. He mumbles helplessly through the messy screenplay; there's a
scene in which the two buddies find themselves inside a plummeting
plane that had me laughing. Not because it was funny (intentionally at
least) but because we are expected to believe that Sandler's character
knows how to fly a plane as he takes the pilot's seat and simply pulls
back on the throttle a bit to level it out. How humorous.
Jack Keats (Wayans), who is doing undercover work and posing as a
criminal to lure his way into a crime underworld with the help of
unsuspecting partner Archie Moses (Sandler). After a powerful crime
lord's operation is busted by Keats and his team, Archie accidentally
shoots his so-called partner in the head.
After a brief coma and a startlingly miraculous recovery, Keats is
asked to transport Archie to federal protection. He reluctantly boards
a plane with Archie, only to be pursued by hit men, etc. Their plane
crashes, they travel a bit, uncover a crooked cop, and that's it: the
movie basically ends after all of this. It is a measly 84 minutes long
and feels even shorter. I mean that as a negative comment. It's like
watching a pilot for some sort of bad television sitcom loaded with
foul language and violence -- stupid, dumb, revolting.
The homosexual undercurrent I mentioned earlier is almost disturbingly
blatant. Some of it seems disgustingly intentional. Of course, I'm not
going to say that any movie dealing with homosexuality is appalling.
But the manner in which "Bulletproof" goes about portraying its
characters and their fetishes is most disturbing. Take, for instance,
the scene in which Archie and Keats spend the night at a small-town
motel, run by a nerd with thick-rimmed glasses and a face which is
almost revolting to look at. For apparently no reason whatsoever,
Archie goes into a long monologue asking the motel owner if he'd like
to spend the night with Keats, that Keats is gay, that they should try
having a "sandwich" sometime with the man's wife. This goes on quite
appallingly for at least three minutes. All the while Keats is
standing a few feet away but yet cannot hear what they're discussing?
And that's just some of the film's more unappealing material. There's
more, such as when Archie promises to do something with James Caan's
crime lord figure that I can't even write in this review, and then
later is asked whether he really said it or not. "No, I don't think I
said that." Then there's lines such as, "I'm falling in love with you
all over again, man," that indicate more than admiration between the
two men. It doesn't sound as revolting as it does in the movie -- like
"Slackers" this film leaves the viewer feeling dirty, rather than
clean and uplifted. I have a firm belief that all the great buddy
movies -- "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," "Lethal Weapon," "Midnight
Run" for example -- primarily work because of the characters, the
actors portraying them, and the screenwriter's ability to create
realistic dialogue and have his characters actually go through
progression. None here. Just lots of stupid chase scenes and unfunny
buddy moments. If not for "Going Overboard" I'd call this Sandler's
worst film. What a mess.
- John Ulmer
http://www.wiredonmovies.com
e-mail: johnulmer2003@msn.com
========== X-RAMR-ID: 37659 X-Language: en X-RT-ReviewID: 1275751 X-RT-TitleID: 1073161 X-RT-SourceID: 1382 X-RT-AuthorID: 6769 X-RT-RatingText: 2/5
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