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It's tempting to mistakenly call Walking Tall a remake of the 1973
hixploitation classic that launched the career of Hollywood box office
juggernaut Joe Don Baker. In reality, it's probably closer to being a new
version of just about any vigilante film Charles Bronson made during the
Carter and Reagan administrations. But to compare it to the original
version of Tall is practically laughable. The names have changed (c'mon,
man - Buford T. Pusser is, like, the Snake Plissken of the '70s!). The
setting has changed. The running time has been gouged by nearly a full
hour. All of this doesn't do well for Tall's already questionable status as
a depiction of events that actually occurred.
Rural Tennessee is replaced by rural Washington State, and Baker is
substituted with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who plays not Pusser, but Chris
Vaughn, a Special Ops soldier who returns home after spending a decade away.
This return home is depicted in Tall's opening credits, which eats about
five minutes off of the already lean 73-minute running time. Vaughn goes
straight to the old lumber mill, where he hopes to get a job. Turns out the
mill, which employed most of the town back in the day, has been closed down.
Now the residents of Unnamedville work out of the casino run by Vaughn's
albino high school foe, Jay Hamilton, Jr. (Neal McDonough, Boomtown).
In addition to offering hot (but fixed) gaming action, Hamilton's casino can
also provide you with a wide variety of drugs, as well as the hottest
poontang this side of Aberdeen. None of this sits well with Vaughn,
especially after his nephew (Khleo Thomas, Holes) nearly overdoses on meth.
Going to the police accomplishes nothing, since the local sheriff (Michael
Bowen - he's Buck and he likes to fuck) is on Hamilton's payroll. What's a
grotesquely muscular man with hardcore military training to do? And will he
do it with a cedar four-by-four whose odor reminds him of how his dad used
to smell when he worked at the mill? Lord, yes.
Vaughn kicks ass, becomes sheriff, and then you go home, scratching your
head as you look at your watch and say, "Jesus, did I pay eight bucks for
something barely longer than a super-sized episode of Frasier?" Yes. Yes,
you did. And I think it's a big rip-off. Christ, I've had sex that lasted
longer than 73 minutes. Actually, that's not true, but you get the point.
If the running time makes you mad, check out the crane shot of the casino
right before the closing credits start to roll. The place looks smaller
than a two-car garage.
Kevin Bray (All About the Benjamins) shoots Tall's action so tightly, it
felt like I was sitting in the front row, despite actually being located in
the back row. This made me thankful for the film's quieter moments, which
showcase Johnson's obvious charisma much more than the louder scenes do.
This will do nothing to further his career, though. This guy desperately
needs to land the right role - even a supporting one - in the right indie
film to give him some serious credibility. Had Johnson undergone a
Theron-esque makeup and weight gain transformation to become Buford T.
Pusser, we'd be talking Oscar.
1:13 - PG-13 for sequences of intense violence, sexual content, drug
material and language
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